If you spend most of your life in situations that provide you with hurt or shame, you become tolerant to the pain. You soon overlook the fact that it is there. You might walk around with it on a daily basis, carrying it with you always, and never fully realizing just how much it affects your life, let alone your personal well-being.
This could be a pain from your past or it could be something right in your present day life. If you are fortunate, something or someone will help you realize that you are walking around wounded. They will remind you of who you use to be or perhaps they will show you that there is a difference in life that exists beyond what you know.
Consider these messages and signs to be doctors to your burdens. They are there to help show you that you do not have to tolerate or live with the pain. They are there to let you know that you can let go of your grief, your hurt, or your unhappiness simply by being willing to seek or be shown another way of life. You have to be willing to change how you live and how you love.
This means you must focus on your own well-being. Focus on your priorities and responsibilities not someone else’s. When we remove the weight of outside opinions and lives, we are taken right back to where we belong, our centers. From this center and this core all our happiness or lack there of exists. We need to regain our perceptions and zero in on when or where we lost site of ourselves and took on more than was required of us.
We must look at what is our responsibility and what is not our responsibility. Then make the adjustments or take action when necessary. It is easy to take care of and provide for those we care for, but it is not always in their best interest for us to do so. Children and the elderly are of course an exception to this statement as it is our duty to look after their best interests. However, for a well and able adult, we must allow them to take responsibility for themselves as well as their actions.
Other instances of pain tolerance would be when we walk around carrying our hurt. Carrying hurt from our pasts can be a heavy weight on our shoulders not to mention it takes up space in our hearts. When our hearts are filled with hurt, there is not a lot of room for love. Or the individual may try so desperately to shield themselves from the hurt that they shelter themselves from love, and wind up choosing relationships that compromise their full potential.
Everyone hurts and everyone experiences pain in their lives, but we can make the choice to let go of it once we have properly addressed it. We don’t have to tolerate pain. We don’t have to accept living a life that is unhappy. We can move beyond that even if it means doing so alone.
Once you have addressed your pain, take time to allow yourself to grieve. Cry, write, paint, talk to a close friend, or just sit with your thoughts by yourself. Do whatever it takes to recognize what bothers you or weighs you down. Doing so will make more space in your heart for whatever love lies ahead.